WRITING AND WAITING
For the past several months God has been refining my ability to wait patiently for Him to act regarding my husband’s health situation. The challenge at times has been overwhelming but He remains as faithful as ever, not once turning His back on me but pushing for excellence rather than mediocrity. He won’t let me get away with offering only an average effort because He is not an “average” God!
During this chapter of my life, I decided to put aside my writing for a while because I felt I could not give it my best when so distracted by this one issue and all its ramifications. However, it didn’t take me long to realize that was a mistake of huge proportions. To think I might get by without responding to God’s call on me to write for Him, even for a very good reason and even for a short time, turned out to be a joke—except there wasn’t anything funny about it. Being called to write is rather like being “sorta pregnant”—either you are or you are not! No half way. He called and I answered but when did He rescind that call? Or even agree to put it on hold?
After a few miserable weeks I slowly changed my mind. To appease my restless mind and body, I began to consider an alternative. Perhaps I could write while caring for my husband as we endure this endless waiting we have been required to do. Reluctantly at first I wandered back to the computer for something more than checking e-mail. Though it had not been a long absence, I have to admit I had already forgotten the excitement that wells up somewhere deep inside when presented with a plot idea. My fingers literally itch to start creating! Not an easy task, mind you, but a necessary one for my emotional survival.
And I will not make that mistake again, believe me. Now I am up to my computer screen in character sketches, research on the history and peoples of the region to be featured, and a detailed outline of events in my new novel. It is to be the first in a four-part series and I am amazed that God believes me capable of such an enormous task. I’ve never reached this far professionally before. How far can God stretch me before I break? Much further than I imagine going, I’m afraid. Yet I have nothing to fear for He is right there beside me holding me up, both going before me and serving as my rear guard. Daily I remind Him that I cannot do this but He can through me, so I ask that He use my desire to tell a story with His wisdom and words to bring to life these people He’s created in my mind. If this is accomplished in my own strength, where is the miracle? I have to step back and allow Him room to work.
Echoing the sentiments of a lady I recently heard speak to a writing group, I claim the opportunity to allow God to write this story on my heart even when I am not seated at the computer. Whether I’m folding clothes, driving to a doctor’s appointment, or fixing a meal, I try to remain open to His inspiration at all moments. With children, we call those teachable moments. So I humbly ask that God give me a teachable spirit so I can write even when I am not writing. It’s all in His hands anyway!